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When in a loft, do not stand or sit up quickly.
On Halloween, it's best not to take shortcuts through schools when you aren't sure where
you're going in the first place.
In order for a drain to work, it must be lower than the floor.
Make sure the car you are trying to get into is yours before
you start freaking out because the door won't unlock.
If you stand in the rain, odds are you'll get wet.
Typing out a page takes a heck of a lot longer than reading that same page does.
If you tend to be accident-prone, stay as far away from contras as you can.
Somehow 80º can feel really hot outside but strangely cold in a pool.
No matter how insistent you are, parents will never believe that you actually study at study
parties.
Never put just-boiled water in a pitcher usually used for Koolaid to cool unless you want
all the water to taste of Koolaid.
If your hands are cold enough to be used as ice packs, you need to warm them up.
Tents will only be waterproof to the point of light rain; flash flood warnings will probably
leave you and your things wet.
Don't try to hold something in the elastic of your shorts because it is very uncomfortable.
Unless you want your kitchen to catch fire, try not to spill hot oil onto the burner of a
popcorn popper.
f you leave food outside in the middle of a wooded area, there's no telling what sort of
animals may be attracted to it - tempt at your own risk.
Fishing line does not like to stay tied without the aid of glue.
Attempting to use an electric sewing machine to sew something by hand is not only redundant
but very tiring.
Putting a wet bathing suit on is a lot harder than putting on a dry one.
If you go a few hours without noticing a new kitchen table in your house, it's safe to say
you're extremely unobservant.
Amendment: If you go 3 DAYS without noticing a tree missing from
your backyard, you're even more unobservant than you were the first time.
If you do not have an axe, but need to cut through a large branch, hacking at it with a pair
of shears will work..eventually.
Putting a pop tab in your mouth puts you at risk of swallowing it.
Try not to put your fingers in a position to be smashed between two very fast moving pool
balls.
Duct tape will make a hat stick to your hair.
Do not put a glass container of perfumey spray in any sort of bag that is prone to being
dropped and swung around aimlessly; it may break and cause everything in the bag as well as near the bag to smell strongly
and overpoweringly of the spray.
Sawdust hurts if it gets into your eyes.
There is a gland in your mouth that secretes saliva. If you push it, you will have
a fountain gushing out of your mouth.
Those "Road Slippery When Wet" signs aren't there just for kicks; if the road is wet, it
will be slippery.
If you walk outside your house when no one else is home, make sure the door is not locked
behind you.
If you're hiding in the woods and you hear a noise, never assume that it's another hiding
person.
Don't leave shoes unattended around a group of untrustworthy underclassmen.
If you are anemic and therefore prone to passing out after strenuous physical exercise, don't
lock yourself in a bathroom stall after running 3 miles.
Unless you want to miss a month of school/work, do not hold an umbrella in a thunderstorm
where lightning is close by.
Fudgecicles will melt in the mini-fridges they supply you with in hotel rooms.
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